Soap

Burt announces he will run for Sheriff, and Danny wants to be Deputy. Jodie enlists Mr. Mallu's help in his fight for Wendy. Chester begs Jessica to take him back. Jessica entertains her psychologist, Dr. Posner, amidst the usual Tate insanity.

Burt rushes home with news that he isn't dying and vows to live the rest of his life to the fullest. The minister's daughter leaves Chester. Danny and Polly buy a house. Jessica catches Dutch and Corinne in bed together. Jessica's psychiatrist asks her out. Carol tells Jodie she wants custody of Wendy.

Carol pays a late-night visit to Jodie and Wendy. Jessica sees a psychiatrist who is crazier than she is. Burt learns he was the victim of computer error. Billy admits he is growing bored in his relationship with Leslie. The Tates rally to support Dutch after Eunice leaves him for another man.

While Burt searches for a world record to break, Mary suspects something is wrong. Dutch and Corinne bond. Suddenly single again, Jessica visits Detective Donohue--on his honeymoon. Dutch confronts Eunice about her cheating.

Danny learns of Burt's illness and agrees to help Burt win a spot in the Guiness Book of World Records. Eunice asks Corinne to cover for her while she cheats on Dutch. Chester's attempts to resist the minister's sexy daughter prove futile. The Campbells host Polly's family at dinner. After Chester tells Jessica he has lapsed again, she kicks him out of the house.

Burt can't bring himself to tell Mary he won't live to see their baby born. Danny and Polly declare their love for one another. Mary worries about Danny's interracial relationship, but Jodie convinces Danny to follow his heart. Billy loses his virginity to Leslie. Mary wonders whether Real Burt or Alien Burt fathered her baby.

Jodie and Wendy move in with the Campbells. Chester and Jessica see a marriage counselor. Danny finds Polly. Burt gets mixed news from the doctor.

Jessica agrees to see a marriage counselor with Chester. The Campbells urge Jodie to move back home. Burt is jealous of Alien Burt's sexual prowess. At Billy's 18th-birthday party, Leslie promises ""to blow out every candle on [Billy's] cake.""

Jessica catches Chester with another woman. Burt and Mary go for their annual physicals. Danny tries to find Polly. Jessica meets Leslie. An agent from Child Protective Services pays a visit to Jodie.

Billy tells Jessica about his affair with Leslie. Burt returns home to share his ordeal with Mary. Danny meets a black widow at the cemetery. Dutch makes it clear he knows Eunice is cheating on him. Jessica spots Chester with another woman.

Mary begins to question her sanity. Eunice and Corinne call Chester on his cheating. Real Burt turns to Jodie for help. Billy plans a rendezvous with Leslie at a hotel but runs into Eunice, then Corinne, then Dutch, then Chester in the lobby. Real Burt makes an impassioned plea to Alien Burt.

The Tates and Campbells gather to welcome Dutch to the family--and scare Millie away in the process. Billy and Leslie's romantic evening is interrupted by her ex. Jodie and Corinne discuss single parenthood. Alien Burt refuses to return to the spaceship. Real Burt finally contacts Mary, then disappears before her eyes. Back on the spaceship, Real Burt convinces the aliens to give him a chance to persuade Alien Burt to leave Earth for good.

Real Burt calls Mary, but Alien Burt intercepts Mary on her way to meet him. Jessica confronts Chester with her suspicions that he is cheating again. Eunice tells Corinne that she's fallen out of love with Dutch. Corinne spots Chester with another woman in a restaurant. Billy and Leslie sneak away to a romantic restaurant, only to run into several familiar faces. Tim and Corinne decide to divorce.

The Tates adjust to life with Dutch in the house. Danny returns home with Millie. Mary grows increasingly suspicious of ""Burt."" Jodie officially begins his life as a single, gay parent. Real Burt and Alien Burt come face to face. Billy and Leslie decide to pursue a relationship.

Burt and Saul escape the spaceship but find themselves in other danger. Jessica finally convinces Detective Donohue to leave. Millie comes to Danny's rescue. Eunice awaits Dutch's release from prison while Corinne bemoans her non-existent sex life with Tim. Chester resumes his philandering ways. Billy and his teacher share a kiss.

Billy is rescued from the Sunnies. Mary is oversexed. Danny is saved by Millie. Jodie is torn between Alice and Wendy. Jessica is sad to bid Benson farewell.

Alien Burt has his way with Mary, and she's not complaining. Real Burt meets Saul, who tells Burt he cannot escape the spaceship. Billy resists the Sunnies' brainwashing. Mrs. David asks Jodie to choose between Wendy and Alice. Benson and ""the Step Brothers"" penetrate the Sunnies' compound but are stopped short of rescuing Billy.

Burt wakes up on the spaceship. Mrs. David arrives with Jodie's daughter. Jessica chooses Chester. Danny is missing.

Burt learns that Inga Swenson is behind Sally's treachery. Danny meets Alice, his first lesbian. Jessica decides to have an affair with Detective Donohue, who proposes to her. Then, Chester returns home.

Corinne gives birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Mary angrily confronts Burt with his alleged infidelities. Jodie and Alice get off to a rocky start as roommates. Jessica enjoys an evening of dinner and romance at Detective Donohue's apartment. Meanwhile, Chester regains his memory and heads for Dunn's River.

Burt, Danny, Jodie, Chuck, and Bob drown their sorrows during a night on the town. Tim announces he's moving to a cave in hopes of making peace with God. The police catch up with Dutch. Jodie meets Alice, a suicidal lesbian, on the Tri-borough Bridge. Mary moves in with Jessica. Corinne goes into labor.

Sally tells Mary that Burt is having an affair with her and an 18-year-old girl, Carol tells Jodie he's unfit to be a father, and Chester almost remembers his name.

Burt tells Sally to find a new job, the Tates visit Dutch and Eunice, Danny goes after Elaine's killers, and Chester regains his memory only to lose it again.

Burt and Danny practice the ransom drop, Elaine is shot and killed while escaping, Chuck and Bob have a new mind-reading act, and Jessica tells Donohue that she loves him, too.

Danny is allowed to talk to Elaine, Donohue tells Jessica that he loves her and Carol leaves Jodie standing at the altar.

Detective George Donohue tries to find Chester, Corinne's pregnancy is further along than can be explained, and Burt and Danny Negotiate with Elaine's kidnappers.

Dutch and Eunice say goodbye to Jessica and Chester, Burt tries to end his relationship with Sally, Chester disappears, and Elaine is kidnapped.

Burt awakens next to Sally, Chester thinks he's Marlene Dietrich, Tim's first and last day at work goes badly, and Carol has a bridal shower.

Chester comes home ... sort of. Dutch and Eunice decide to run away together, Corinne tells Jessica she's pregnant, and a drunken Burt finally spends the night with Sally.

The Tates visit Chester in the hospital, Carol tells her father about her impending wedding to Jodie, and Sally is still trying to seduce Burt.

Tim decides he's cursed, Dutch visits Eunice, and Chester survives the operation but loses his memory.

Jodie proposes to Carol, Mother Flotsky drops dead, Sally the secretary attempts to seduce Danny and Burt, and Chester needs brain surgery.

Jessica gives Corinne marriage advice, Mary tells Burt she wants to go back to school, Dutch takes off and Chester has a seizure.

Chester and Dutch are discovered hiding in the basement, Chuck attempts to go on a date without Bob, and Eunice and Dutch begin to really like each other.

Chester and Dutch escape from prison, Carol tells Jodie that she is pregnant, and the Tates all disappear into the basement.

Chester tries to commit suicide, Jodie moves in with Carol, Mary suspects Burt of having an affair, Mother Flotsky puts a curse on Tim and Corinne, Jessica is sentenced to 50 years for killing Peter, and Chester confesses that he's the real murderer and meets Dutch, his new cellmate.

Jessica's astonishing behavior on the first day of her trial for the murder of tennis pro Peter Campbell causes pandemonium in the courtroom.

Eunice and Walter race to recover some incriminating evidence, and Jessica and Chester receive a few shocks from their first meeting with the prosecutor and the Judge.

Mary finally gets Burt to see a doctor. Jessica tries to make peace with Corinne, and Eunice finds herself locked out on a hotel window ledge in the rain.

The Campbells consider having Burt committed while Father Tim pays Corinne a farewell visit and Chester fires Claire

After gloating over Jessica's arrest, Ingrid pays a threatening visit to the Campbell's. Eunice and the Congressman receive a blackmail note and Lefkowitz agrees to let Danny live - on one condition.

After receiving some shocking news, Corinne is released from jail - and Jessica is arrested.

Danny takes drastic steps to keep from being killed and a mysterious woman arrives at Tinkler's jail with a startling announcement.

Every member of the Campbell and Tate households seems to be a suspect in Peter's murder, but Chief of Police Tinkler announces the name of the culprit.

Burt plans a party to celebrate his victory over impotency, but a tragic discovery leaves him in no mood for merrymaking.

Jodie leaves the hospital and prepares for his first date with a woman; Jessica and Corinne are furious with Peter for cheating on Corinne; and Peter is in for a surprise in his bath.

Learning of Jodie's suicide attempt, the Campbells rush to his hospital bedside. Corinne and Jessica confront their men about their respective infidelities.

The Godfather visits Mary; Danny visits in disguise; Mary spurns Burt's advances; Corinne visits Father Tim; and Dennis has bad news for Jodie.

Jodie goes into the hospital for his sex change operation; Dr. Medlow cures Burt's impotence; and Jessica finally witnesses Chester's infidelity.

Unable to bring himself to kill Burt, Danny goes into hiding from the mob; Bob, the ventriloquist's dummy, continues to make life horrible for the Campbells and the Tates.

The Major kidnaps a neighbor; Claire fails to convince Jessica that Chester is cheating; Burt's son Chuck, the schizophrenic ventriloquist, arrives; and Danny traps Burt in a cabin with the intent to kill.

Corrine moves out of the Tate house; Burt announces the return of his son Chuck, the ventriloquist; and Danny gets one last chance to kill Burt.

Jodie tells his family about his planned sex-change operation; Burt and Mary tell a psychiatrist about their problem; Corrine tells Father Tim she loves him; and Jessica can't tell Corinne anything.

Jessica resolves to end her affair with Peter; Claire ends Chester's affair with Pigeon; and Danny tries to end Burt's life.

Jessica fails to confess her infidelity; Mary fails to terminate Burt's impotence; and Danny learns the identity of the man he must terminate.

In order to leave the mob, Danny is ordered to kill his father's killer; Chester is blackmailed by his secretary; and the identity of Burt's long lost son is a shock in more ways than one.

This satirical soap opera introduces the Campbells and the Tates: two suburban families of unequal prosperity but equal lunacy and a similar zest for the foibles which make us all human.