Mystery Science Theater 3000

An unaired pilot which was shown to the management at KTMA with an introduction by none other than Joel Hodgson. This footage was captured at a Q&A at Archon 32 by Tarantulas in October of 2008.

Movie Plot: A submarine crew fight an underwater civilization. Host Segment I: The crew deals with the vacuflowers that grow on the satellite, which makes everyone that smells them obsessed.

Movie Plot: Aliens from Mars battle the Earth. Host Segment I: The crew does a skit about the Macy's Thanksgiving parade.

The crew watches "The Crawling Eye" (1958). Joel treats the bots to RAM chips.

The crew watches "The Robot Vs. The Aztec Mummy" (1964). Demon Dogs invade the SOL.

The crew watches "Mad Monster" (1942). Joel swaps Crow and Servo's heads.

An expedition to the moon goes wrong when a group of astronauts accidentally lands on Mars in "Rocketship X-M (1950)." Joel and the Bots are visited by Valeria from "Robot Holocaust (1987)" and Frank learns to push the button.

The crew watches "The Sidehackers" (1969). Joel and the bots provide sidehacking commentary.

The crew watches "Jungle Goddess" (1948). Joel and the bots are threatened by a pair of aliens.

In the theater, the crew watches as blonde barbarian called Ator fights to protect the mighty "Geometric Nucleus" from falling into the hands of a power-hungry villain in "Cave Dwellers" (1984). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel teaches the bots the art of Foley.

In the theater, the crew watches as Japan comes under attack by Gamera, a giant, fire-breathing turtle monster, who also befriends a schoolboy in "Gamera" (1965). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Gamera pays a visit.

In the theater, the crew watches as a little kid befriends a magic alien he calls Trumpy, while Trumpy's alien family go on a murder spree in "Pod People" (1983). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Trumpy's magic is causing chaos.

In the theater, the crew watch on as three astronauts become stranded when their ship fails, in "Space Travelers" (1969). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow becomes an escape artist, Joel invents a machine that puts your face on cash, and the crew discusses the side effects of the space program.

In the theater, the crew watches as a thirty-foot lizard terrorizes a small town in Texas in "The Giant Gila Monster" (1959). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Servo dissects the "leg up" blocking technique used extensively in the movie.

In the theater, the crew watches as gangs in a dystopian future attempt to take back control of their city from an evil corporation in "City Limits" (1985). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots invent some new superheroes. This episode features the song "Oh, Kim Cattrall!"

In the theater, the crew watches as Hercules and Jason search for the legendary Golden Fleece in "Hercules" (1958). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots get a visit from some Amazons via the Hexfield Viewscreen.

In the theater, the crew watches as a road warrior with a talking motorcycle take on a fascist dictator in a dystopian future in "Warrior of the Lost World" (1984). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Joel and the bots discuss their own post-Apocalyptic plans.

In the theater, the crew watches as three women break out of jail and search for a hidden cache of stolen diamonds, emboldened by an undercover police officer, in "Swamp Diamonds" (1956). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Servo is inspired to ask one of his robot cohorts on a date. This episode also features the short "What to Do on a Date" (1951).

In the theater, the crew watches a women sent to a convent after being accused of killing a man. On the SOL, Crow hires the Power Steves for a party the crew is having, Servo scats in honor of Mel Torme, and the crew designs the woman of the future. In Deep 13: Dr. Forrester presents the Umbilicus, a giant cable connecting Deep 13 to the SOL. It connects directly to Gypsy, who is not pleased.

In the theater, the crew watches as a group of people in a bar witness a Soviet takeover, in "Invasion USA" (1952). Meanwhile, on the Satellite of Love, Crow gives a lecture about Lois Lanes. This episode features the short "A Date with Your Family" (1950).

In the short "The Selling Wizard" (1954), an unseen narrator and a mute 'Pizza Dominatrix' explain the benefits of freezer cases to grocery store owners. In "The Dead Talk Back" (1957), a crackpot 'scientist' invents the machine that can supposedly communicate with the dead and uses it to help solve a murder. On the SOL, Servo and crow host "The Dead Talk Back" radio show, the crew dresses as the Grateful Dead, and the crew is interrogated by Dr. Forrester, but he is interrupted when Frank confesses.

In the theater, the crew watches as an astronaut finds himself pregnant with alien embryos in "Night of the Blood Beast" (1958). Meanwhile, in Deep 13, Dr. Forrester is adjusting to his overbearing mother now living with him.

In the theater, the crew watches as a blind woman unknowingly hosts a misshapen serial killer in her home in "The Brute Man" (1946). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike can't bear to have Servo gestating in an egg for 21 days.

In the theater, the crew watches as an acerbic hero adventures through the realm of Southland on a quest for three magic stones in "Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell" (1988). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike is enchanted by the Renaissance Fest the bots put on for him.

Mike, Servo, and Gypsy return to the SOL to find the year is now 2525, Crow has been there alone for a VERY long time, and the earth is being ruled by apes. Following orders from their Lawgiver, the apes force the crew to watch a mutant fish-man escape from captivity at a Florida aquarium in "Revenge of the Creature" (1955).

In the theater, the crew watches a sordid tale about the fountain of youth and a woman who wishes to be younger in "Leech Woman" (1960). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow rids the SOL of a prairie dog problem, the Nanites go on strike, Servo and Crow attack Mike to extract eternal youth from him, Servo demands that Crow and Mike play "Beverly Hillbillies." On Earth, Mike convinces the apes to revert to their monkey nature, which causes Pearl to get upset.

In the theater, the crew watches an archeological encounter an underground civilization in "The Mole People" (1956). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow tries to enslave Gypsy, Mike, and Servo, and later conducts an archaeological dig through the SOL. On Earth, Pearl demands a parade in her honor.

In the theater, the crew watches a scientist is turned into a monster when his matter transference beam malfunctions in "The Projected Man" (1966). Meanwhile, on Earth, Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy find an old castle which turns out to be Pearl's ancestral home.

In the theater, the crew watches as an astronaut is captured by the tiny alien inhabitants of a mysterious planet in "The Phantom Planet" (1961). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike and the Bots have a glass armonica recital.

In the theater, the crew watches as a college professor transforms into the legendary Aztec hero in "The Pumaman" (1980). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Mike becomes the mystical Coatimundi Man.

In the theater, the crew watches as the souls of 4 teenagers are being hunted down in "Soultaker" (1990). On the SOL, Gypsy informs Mike that the ship is having serious malfunctions. Meanwhile, in Castle Forrester, Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy are playing Monopoly; a soultaker comes for Bobo's soul.

In the theater, the crew watches as a young woman travels to Los Angeles to become a go-go dancer and gets mixed up with the wrong crowd in "Girl in Gold Boots" (1968). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Crow dances in a tiny bikini.

In the theater, the crew watches as cyborgs and tiny dinosaurs hunt down an escaped slave in a dystopian future in "Future War" (1997). Meanwhile, on the SOL, Tom Servo challenges Gypsy to a kickboxing match.

In Reptilicus. Copenhagen is terrorized by a prehistoric beast that has regenerated itself from a recently discovered tail segment. In the host segments, Gizmonic's crack space pilot Jonah Heston is lured to Moon Base 13 where he is the subject in a series of experiments created by Kinga Forrester to break his spirit by showing him cheesy movies. Only by riffing on the bad movies with the help of his new robot friends Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot can Jonah keep his sanity.

Jonah and the bots take on Cry Wilderness, a creepy story of a boy and his Bigfoot. Meanwhile, Kinga gets a visit from her grandmother and her friends.

Joel and the bots take their shots at The Time Travelers, a 1960s movie about three hapless scientists and their even more hapless assistant, who go through a time portal and find themselves a hundred years in the future with the last of the human race.

Kinga decides to save time and money breaking Jonah's spirit by running a "gauntlet" of bad movies: six movies in a row. She starts with Mac and Me, a very bad ripoff of E.T.

Jonah and the bots are forced to watch Graham Greene humiliate himself with a cast of dozens in a rip-off of Pacific Rim.

Kinga forces Jonah and the bots to watch Lords of the Deep: a 80s' Roger Corman cash-in on underwater horror and s.f. movies of the era. There are no Lords, and it's not very deep.

SEASON 13 BEGINS, as Jonah and his crew endure their newest experiment: "Santo in the Treasure of Dracula" (1969). Outside the theater, Kinga and Max unveil their newest diabolical plan for world domination... the Kingadome!

Jonah and his crew find themselves caught in the middle of "Robot Wars," a 1993 sci-fi featuring Barbara Crampton and endless stop-motion robot battles.

In the theater, the crew watches as a team of jewel thieves discover a mysterious island and the bug-eyed civilization living there, in "Beyond Atlantis" (1973). Meanwhile, a new test subject is trapped in the Simulator of Love with an animatronic Tom and Crow.